its one direction
x-files 2x08 one breath is one of those individual episodes that reminds you of how incredible television can be
do you ever stop and consider that harry styles has probably never stuffed envelopes in his whole young life
they look the fucking cast of an updated oceans eleven and they bout to pull of the biggest heist of their lives
Zayn’s been locked in the vault and they need to rescue him.
This is hilarious but he’s be real you guys: Zayn is going to survive the apocolypse, he could definitely take down a few hired guns.
Harry, Liam, Louis and Niall come rushing frantically into Zayn’s house to find him chilling in front of the telly in a t-shirt and a pair of trackies.
ZAYN YOU’RE ALIVE, YOU ASSHOLE, DID YOU SLEEP THROUGH OUR SUPER SECRET HEIST?
No, Zayn would say. But one thing I’ve realized is that it’s easier to do a heist when you’re not wearing a three piece suit or, Harry, did you shave your belly button?
Yeah, Harry said, flipping the tails of his silk pirate scarf across his smooth skin. He had so much better access now that he had undone another four buttons on his shirt.
Anyway the painting we needed to get is on the dining room table, Zayn would say. He can’t get up to get it himself because it’s got two cats lying on his chest and a puppy sitting across his belly and Niall sprawled against his thighs.
Basically an au where Harry is Inspector Gadget and Zayn is Penny but also the rest of One Direction is involved. Long discussions about whether glitter boots are appropriate heist attire (THE REST OF HIS OUTFIT IS NEUTRAL) or whether a dangling cross earring counts as a disguise (BUT MY EARS AREN’T ACTUALLY PIERCED, YOU SEE).